This weekend, I solo-parented while my husband headed off camping with his dad. Just me and the kid.
And we’ve been in an ongoing war with tech screen time in this house. I’ll be honest, I haven’t always been winning it.
The Tech Battle
Our son was recently grounded from all tech completely after some behaviour that warranted it. And while I held the line… I did cave on Saturday morning cartoons. Slightly. He was limited to one channel and a set time, but still. The silver lining is that it meant I was able to clean the bathrooms and get some much-needed housework done.
The toughest thing is that he has two parents who work from home. He watches us on our computers all day, and no matter how many times we explain that we’re paid to be there, that it’s work and not fun, the logic doesn’t quite land the way you’d hope.
We also cut ourselves off at night. If he’s not watching TV, then neither are we. Though the phones… the phones are a different story. I’d be lying if I said we were perfect on that front.
But here’s the thing I’ve noticed, and it’s hard to ignore. When he gets tech time, his emotions go haywire. He’s easily triggered, he can’t switch off when asked, and turning on the TV first thing in the morning had become automatic, like a reflex. Just… wake up, TV on.
When we take it away? The first couple of days are rough. And then he remembers how to be a kid.
He plays with his toys. He makes up elaborate storylines. His emotions settle. It’s like watching someone come back online in a different way.
Admitting the neighbours were right
Our neighbours had suggested their routine a while back. No tech during the week, TV only on Friday nights and weekends. At the time, I thought it sounded extreme. I mean, what’s the harm in an hour of morning TV before school?
Turns out, quite a bit.
We’ve had the conversation with our son and set the new rule: no tech during the week. Weekends only. We also showed him a video that’s been circulating, about research showing similarities in brain activity between kids with high screen time and early-onset dementia. That got his attention. It got mine too, to be honest.
Here’s a link to the full video if you’re interested.
The moments that made it worth it
On the weekend, I watched him sit on the floor with his toys and build this whole battle scene. Two “goo ninjas” going to war, complete with sound effects and a running commentary. I was just… watching him and smiling.
He noticed.
“Oh,” he said, “I thought you were laughing at me.”
Nope. Just listening and feeling pretty overwhelmed with joy, actually.
And this morning? We played chess together. He read a book. He flew his toy aeroplane around the house.
It’s early days, and I’m not about to declare victory. We’ll see how it goes and play it by ear. But so far, so good.
Parenting really is the toughest thing I’ve ever done. Horrifically difficult, and the most rewarding thing, all at once.
